Book review - When Breath becomes air

Book review - When Breath becomes air

Paul Kalanithi, a Neurosurgical Chief Resident, was on the verge of completing his training as a Neurosurgeon, when he started losing weight and having ferocious back pain. 

He went to see his primary care doctor and wanted to get an MRI to confirm his diagnosis.  But the doctor suggest X-rays first as MRI for back pain is expensive.  

The X-rays looks fine and they chalked the symptoms up to hard work and an aging body.  A follow－up appointment was scheduled.

A few weeks later, Paul Kalanithi began having bouts of  severe chest pain and some nights, he woke up on soaked sheets, dripping sweat.  His weight began dropping again. Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.

After medical school, Lucy, Paul Kalanithi newly married wife whom he got to know in the first year of medical school,  headed to California to begin their residences.

Paul Kalanithi and Lucy had always planned to have kids at the end of Paul residency.  They went to the sperm bank, to preserve gametes and options.  Cancer drugs would have an unknown effect on his sperm, to keep his chance of having children, they have to freeze sperm before he started treatment.

Paul was now no longer the man who loved hiking, camping, running, who expressed his love through gigantic hugs, who threw his giggling niece high in the air.

Five stages of grief :

Denial -> Anger -> Bargaining -> Depression Acceptance

First-line therapy (Tarceva), Second-line therapy (chemo)

Just before nine o'clock on Monday, March 9, 2015, Paul lids apart and eyes closed, he inhaled and released one last, deep, final breath.

Paul was survived by his large, loving family, including his wife, Lucy, and their daughter, Elizabeth Acadia.

Paul was buried in a willow casket at the edge of a field in the Santa Cruz Mountains, overlooking the Pacific Ocean and a coastline studded with memories - brisk hikes, seafood feasts, birthday cocktails.

Week 14 (Part 4)

7th Apr (Sat)

As i have a Caregiver Support Group to attend, so no Church for me today.

Ever since my mum went Day Care Centre, we didn't eat at the Food Centre near my house.  So I ask her, if she wants to go down to eat.

Ordered a yong tau foo as request by my mum (which I didn't take picture).  Then ask my mum if she wants chee cheong fun, she's ok, so order a plate @ $1.60 to share.

I cannot resist the chicken wing, so order it @ $1.50.

As my Caregiver Support Group was at Jurong Point, thought I will go for my brunch before going for the talk.

Hot & Sour Soup @ $2.80

Braised Pork Bun @ $2.90

Westlake

Jurong Point Shopping Mall

#03-89C

Singapore 648886

Tel : 6474 7263

Topic for the day is Medical Care in Dementia by Dr Vina Doshi, Consultant Geriatrician, AgeWELL ARTSZ Medical Group Pte Ltd.  Refreshment is serve after the session.

8th Apr (Sun)

Since I didn't go church yesterday, go church today.  If I were to tell my mum go church, guess most likely, her answer will be, want to stay at home.  So tell her, today go Senior's club (Day Care Centre).

Go PPH Brethren Church as there's transport provided.  When we were at the void deck, told my mum, the staff from the Senior's Club is on leave today, there will be another driver taking over, but we got to walk to PPHCSC there to wait for the transport.

After the service, while at the refreshment area, this lady, a hi bye friend, was sitting beside me.  She's curious to know how much I paid for my mum's Day Care Centre fee.  Reply her there's Government subsidy, then the part comes where she ask for the amount I have to pay, that I told her confidential.

Actually, my mum wanted to go home, told her, since we're out, we go Harbourfront makan and jalan jalan then go back.

Was at Seah Im Food Centre and my mum wanted her favourite duck porridge.  This stall has been around for a long time.

I had seafood soup @ $4 with a rice @ $0.50.  Total : $4.50.  At first, I was thinking, how come seafood soup, only fish and sotong, but no prawn, only to realise there are two small prawns when gonna finish eating.

After walking a round at Harbourfront, my mum was saiding want to go home, told her, we go for a cup of coffee first then go back.  She wants her favourite place, Heavenly Wang.  When we were there, ask her if we just order drink or anything she wants to eat.  She then said macaroni, have to double confirm with her if she can finish anot, as I still full after eating the seafood soup with rice, just in case she eat a bit and said full, my stomach no room for it already.  She said she still can eat, so order the chiicken macaroni set @ $7.80.

Comes with a slice of kaya butter bread

and a large cup of coffee

On the way home, in the bus, bump into a neighbourhood neighbour, she's an old friend of a church friend of mine.  She knows my mum goes to the Day Care Centre.  She has my handphone number, all along, she never ask how's my mum at the Day Care Centre.  Whether my mum is ok at the Day Care Centre.  The thing she start to ask me is how much I pay for my mum Day Care Centre fee.  Told her got Government subsidy.  She then keeps asking me how much, how much, I was not keen to tell her the amount, so I reply her, I got to pay, she then said you don't know how much you pay meh.  I was frustrated that she keeps asking me hiw much I pay, so I reply her, why you want to know how much I pay, confidential.  She then tell me, you said confidential, so to say, you can afford it.  In my heart, I was thinking, if I can't afford it, you going to help me pay meh since you keep asking the amount.  So to say, money is more important than my mum well-being. Then tell me my mum see doctor, medicine, all need money. Money, money, money, haiz...

Went for the 5pm Sundays at the Park workout.  Saw Auntie Lee, she was there waiting for the cantonese auntie who's there for the workout.

As the other time, she mention her granddaughter starting Polytechnic in April, so I ask her, auntie, when is your granddaughter starting her Polytechnic.  She then said, her granddaughter buy laptop, buy sport shoe, make spectacular, school fee, already cost a lot of money.

Money, money, I wonder today will I dream about money when I sleep since today the topic is about money.

Week 14 (Part 3)

6th Apr (Fri)

At first, I was thinking of not going PPHCSC for the breakfast session as every week, very crowded, with 100 over people.  Then realise, it's the first Friday of the month, they will have birthday celebration for those born in the month and bingo game.

While my mum was waiting for the transport, I quickly walk over to PPHCSC.

Bee hoon with you tiao, there's also a small bowl of porridge in which I didn't take picture.  I have to swallow the foods and then walk back to make sure my mum board the transport.

After my mum board the transport, walk back to PPHCSC again.  Just nice, birthday celebration starts, after that, the tart is distribute among everyone.

Then bingo time

In the afternoon, went to the Day Care Centre to kaypoh a bit.

There's this Malay newcomer, who just started on 2nd April and same transport with my mum, as staying same kampong, but different block.  On Monday, when I went to the Day Care Centre, I was surprise to see him sitting in the same table as my mum.  As usually, my mum sits in the same table with Uncle Chin and Uncle Lim.  They change Uncle Lim to sit at another table.  Uncle Chin and Uncle Lim goes to the Day Care Centre every day.  From what I understand, the Malay newcomer will go on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

But when I reach today, they arrange him to sit with 2 other of his same race.  Phew, lucky not in the same table.  Finger cross, not too sure if next week, will he still be sitting in the same table with Uncle Chin and my mum.

This Malay newcomer, the first day when I saw him when the transport pick my mum, he gave me a french kiss, then at the Day Care Centre, darling here, darling there.  Guess his wife is used to it, his wife accompany him there.

Today, again, darling.  One of the staff told me to bring my mum to the afternoon activity area. Before bring my mum to the activity area, I went to talk to his wife, where he interrupt. The staff was telling me not to talk too much to him.  He was in the same group activity with my mum.  Total, there are 8 of them in the group.  They were sitting in a circle.  Using a plastic chopstick, they were ask to pass rubber band round to each other.  Beside the Malay newcomer is an elderly auntie, when it was his turn to pass the rubber band, he called the elderly auntie, darling.   There are three elderly there, the helper is with the elderly every day.  One of the helper tell him, call auntie, don't call darling.

Tea break for my mum, bread with mayonnaise egg.  Too slow, my mum took the other half first before I could take picture.

Week 14 ( Part 2)

4th Apr (Wed)

I need to make a trip to the Day Care Centre again as I was not successful in making payment for my mum's Day Care Centre due to the increase fee on Monday.  This round, I manage to pay the fee.

My lunch - maggie mee with egg, meatball and vegetables.

My mum tea break - mini fruit tart

5th Apr (Thur)

The other time I tried the curry yong tau foo at 潮州卤味，i was back to try the chicken rice.

A set of chicken rice

With beansprout  @ $4.50

The soup was so so only

The chicken was nice

The rice was a bit hard, maybe due to the rice was just ready.

The cai po was nice, while eating, saw some customers walk in to buy it.  Then realise that they do sell it at a bottle for $3. Heard one of them tell the friend, can use it to fried egg or eat with porridge.

The chilli sauce was quite hot

潮州卤味

Blk 168 #01-252

Bt. Batok West ave 8

Singapore 650166

Week 14 (Part 1)

2nd Apr (Mon)

The transport is late in picking up my mum.  From what I understand, there are two newcomers taking the same transport with my mum.

When the transport arrive (my mum is the last to board the transport), being a busybody, I ask the staff which one is the newcomers.  He pointed a Malay guy to me and mention that he didn't manage to pick up the other person.

Starting of new month, time to make payment for my mum Day Care Centre fee.  Lunch at one of the coffeeshop in West Coast before going in, in the afternoon.

La Mian

with tempura @ $4

While at the Day Care Centre, ask the staff, the newcomer whom he didn't manage to pick, how is it.  He mention the sister call, saiding the brother has gone down to wait for the transport.  Maybe is the staff can't recognize the newcomer and the newcomer also doesn't know the staff, so they miss each other.  He has to make another trip to fetch the newcomer.

Before going for my class, went for a cup of milo @ $2.

The lesson for the night is recovery and rehabilitation, which I find is very interesting.

There are two young ladies sharing their journey of recovery.  Not able to share as we were told not to take picture, video, etc.

3rd Apr (Tue)

Nothing much inside the fridge, need to top up.

Before going to the supermarket, drop by Faith Methodist Church Garden of Eternal Peace to "visit" a friend who has passed on ashes.

Usually if I have nothing in mind what to eat, I will walk round to see what foods is available.  It so happen I walk to a coffeeshop and saw quite a number of people eating vegetarian bee hoon, ok, I will eat that.  I wanted to mix bee hoon mee, but was told，no more mee.  And bee hoon also left not much.  The ingredients also going to finish.

Taken from the MRT, Jurong East temporary bus Interchange and JCube.

Didn't know that there's an Old Town at Jurong Point Shopping Centre till pass by.  A cup of Ipoh White Coffee @ $2.20 before going back.

Book review - Love without Limits

Love without Limits

* Archive photo - TM had ask me to write a review of the book, I am not good in writing, so rough story of the book.

Nick Vujicic, an Australian, is  a Christian evangelist, an inspiration speaker, professional speaker who communicate for a living, is born without limbs.

As a teenager, he dreamed of getting married and having a family some days, just like most people.

His first serious relationship began when he was nineteen.  He met the girl at a Church camp in the United States.  They began as friends and moved quickly to the point where they wanted to be together all the way.  Till one day, seemingly out of the blue, the girl told Nick Vujicic that she need space and not ready for a serious relationship.  Nick struggled to give her space.

After four and a half year of giving the girl space, Nick had an opportunity to see the girl again when he spoke at a Church near her home.  She went to Nick speaking engagement.    They talked through their feelings and decided to try again, but in secret as the girl father had opposed to the relationship and they hope the father would come around one day if it was God's will.  

As Nick was traveling constantly, most of the communication were long distance and the girl father found out about the phone bill one day that she racked up hundreds of dollars by taking Nick's calls from Australia. The girl father made it very clear that he was not on board with their relationship.  Both of them broke off and he mourn the losses for eighteen month.

Kanae and Nick met when Nick was giving a little talk to a small group of supporters and friends in Southern Dallas. There was a spark and a strong attraction from the first moments Kanae locked eyes with Nick.  After their first meeting, Nick didn't see Kanae for three months as he was travelling but he couldn't stop thinking about her.  

He send poetry to Kanae through their mutual friend Tammy who mistakenly play matchmaker with Kanae sister, Yoshie, instead of forwarding the poems meant for Kanae to her.  At that point of time, Kanae has a boyfriend.

But Nick and Kanae did get together and got marred. 

Initially, they did not plan for a child in their first two years of marriage.  But three months into their marriage, Kanae got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy Miyoshi a day after their wedding anniversary.

An aspect to their relationship that is different from many marriages is that addition to the usual work and responsibilities of being a wife and mother, Kanae has to help Nick deal with the challenges of having no arms and no legs. 

Nick, Kanae and Miyoshi lives in South California.

Week 13 (Part 4)

31st Mar (Sat)

My mum doesn't wants to go for Service, so left me.  Since my mum is not with me, I can sit anywhere I want.  Sat with a regular and chit chat with her before service starts.  She was mentioning every year on Good Friday, it will rain.  Oh yeah hor, it was raining while my mum and I was on our way home on Good Friday.

After service, went Bukit Merah View for early dinner.  Pass by a table and saw a guy eating prawn noodle, so I thought I will eat that.

I didn't realise that there is a prawn noodle stall, if not for the guy who eats it.  Maybe the stall was in a corner, so I didn't notice it.

Big prawn noodle @ $5

I had kway teow mee

1st Apr (Sun)

From what I know, the actual day for Qing Ming is on 5th Apr (Thur).

Thought I will make a trip to the columbarium where my late father ashes is in.

Since the bus could not turn in to Old Choa Chu Kang Road due to bad traffic jam, stop at the main road and walk in.

A fallen tree

I remember a year where I saw that this tree is bald, now not bald already.

Opening hours of the columbarium

A small pond at the columbarium

At first, I was wondering what is this, than saw a sign stating Choa Chu Kang Cemetery Chapel.

Random picture

2nd stop, All Saints Memorial Chapel where one of my mum's uncle, auntie, elder sister, cousin ashes is.

Before going back, makan first then go back.

Fried chicken, so so only

Cauliflower

Fried egg with a bit of tong cai

Porridge, total : $4.50